Tato is gone. He left the house. I don’t think I will see him again. I don’t know… His attitude… I don’t want to close doors on hope but his last appearance makes me think that he consciously went away. And I feel crap.
All this, dates back to end of September. I saw him choosing different places and sort of hiding. All of a sudden. He would not let me approach him. And was unable to take him and he would move somewhere else. The last time he was hiding in the garage and so I left the car open hoping he would go in to sleep. When I returned he flew out to the woods and I never saw him again. Seems each time i’d spotted him he moved so that he could… die in peace???
I’ve been calling and searching everywhere since. Even entered places I’m not supposed to.
Cats hide when they sense the time has come.
Now I wonder, maybe all the medication did something internally. I don’t know. I have a lot of moments of him this summer, coming and going. Looking healthy all. Shiny coat, bright eyes. His normal activity now. That of an older cat. But the spark was there. The recently diagnosed Fel-v and the resulting Stomatitis, all that was now our normal day to day and me being careful of how much he ate and how much medication he was taking. The pausing and resuming of it.
Only in the last days, I did see something. Like he did not like the food anymore. So the plan was to bring him down to get his anti-inflammatory shot and ask for the pricing of the time of the surgery. The teeth removal.
It was a year of having him eat differently and what worked really great was having the dry food “swell” by pouring boiling water on it. Then I would add some tasty tuna or something I knew he would love. Inside the food I could always add his medicine. I think he new it was there, but managed to eat it anyway.
I am so sad. I was like a ritual. And then in the afternoon he would eat bits of real fish or chicken, he loved it. He would directly swallow it though.
I am a bit desperate, all the houses around here have got guardian dogs, I know he has not gone to any of those. The woods are big enough to hide a dying animal that does not want to be rescued any more. So here I am feeling totally useless. Not knowing where to look anymore. The streets further away have got more traffic. There are cats around the waste bins but not him. And the lady that feeds those has not seen a black cat with white whiskers.
I’ve been advised to keep having faith, he will come back. So I am gonna leave this as is, and still go around calling.
There is not much else I can do.